"I'm Invited - Therefore I Am"
by Martin Lewis
(First published August 12, 2000)

There's only one real sin here in Hollywood. And that's Not Being On The List. The party can be crass, over-crowded and full of people you despise. That's not the point. "I am invited - therefore I am." It's L.A.'s version of existentialism.

This weekend there are over a hundred parties, receptions and events to choose from as Democrats gather in L.A. But only two or three count in bragging terms. On Saturday night Friends Of Bill will be chipping in $1,000 to rub shoulder-pads with the mighty at comic artist Stan Lee's house. Cocktails included. But REAL Friends Of Bill will then have to cough up a further $24,000 to stay on for chow and entertainment. Cher, Whoopi, Diana, etc. (If you need a second name - you REALLY don't belong.) That's where an alibi comes in handy.

I'm claiming a prior commitment to join Rep. Maxine Waters who is hosting "A Taste Of Soul" at the California Scientific Center. Maxine made Henry Hyde. Literally. So Maxine's bash is a hot ticket with the party faithful.

On Sunday, Barbra (c'mon! you know which one!) is having a brunch for a few hundred close personal acquaintances to help raise funds for President Clinton's Library. $25,000 a pop. (Walt Whitman first editions cost a bundle, you know...)

Best excuse for missing that is to go to the L.A. Region Food Bank to honor the "High Input Day Of Youth Community Service." VP-daughter Karenna Gore will speak. OK, so she doesn't sing like Babs - and the tarragon mayo may not be whipped fashionably counter-clockwise. But getting on this list is easy. You just have to care.